Some people are fans of the Indianapolis Colts. But many, many more people are NOT fans of the Indianapolis Colts. This 2016 Deadspin NFL team preview is for those in the latter group. Read all the previews so far here. And buy Drew’s new book here. Your team: MayonnaiseLand Colts. Your 2015 record: 8-8. “What in the world…” God, that play was so great. Just a whole country going WHAT THE FUCK in unison as poor Griff Whalen committed designed suicide. There’s true comfort to be had in watching professional athletes and coaches make an error so obvious and so breathtakingly stupid that you, the viewer at home, can say “I would have done that better” and have it literally be true. I owe half my self-esteem to this play. Also, the head coach publicly said that play wa…

Some people are fans of the Baltimore Ravens. But many, many more people are NOT fans of the Baltimore Ravens. This 2013 Deadspin NFL team preview is for those in the latter group. Read all the 2013 NFL previews so far right here. Your team: Baltimore Ravens Your 2012 record: 10-6, Super Bowl champions. And the fun thing about being a hater is that I can concoct any number of completely stupid ways to discredit your title. You won only because Jimmy Smith held! You just got hot at the right time! If Rahim Moore weren't a fuckup and John Fox weren't a gutless coward, you'd be divisional round chum! Fluuuuuuuuke. The refs fucked the Niners over! RAY LEWIS IS STILL A MURDERER STABBY STAB STAB. Stupid Ravens fans. Winning a Super Bowl doesn't actually mean you&…

Austin Krajicek and Rajeev Ram pulled out a 6-3, 4-6, 6-3 doubles victory over Illya Beloborodko and Oleksii Krutykh to complete the United States' 4-0 win over Ukraine in their Davis Cup qualifier on Friday in Vilnius, Lithuania. The victory seals the Americans' return to the Davis Cup finals in 2024. The group stage begins in September. Krajicek and Ram saved a whopping 18 of 19 break points and had a 35-22 edge in winners over the Ukrainian counterparts. "It was a very tough match the whole way through. Their team was exceptionally good and competed really hard," Krajicek said after the match. "They put us in a tough position by playing a great second set. I thought we did a good job raising our energy in the third and in playing well and serving well at big…

data-mm-id=”_5t6bpbnhc”>Has Odell Beckham Jr. lost his mind? In the span of less than two hours, he compromised LSU player's eligibility, put the football program he loves in a position where it was caught lying and committed potential battery on a police officer. (Update: New Orleans PD issued a simple battery warrant for Beckham.)Not sure what planet he's living on, but it's clear he doesn't care about anyone or anything other than whatever's going on in his mind at that moment. Let's start with him giving out money to LSU players on the field after the game. What was the purpose? To showcase how rich he is? To prove a point to the NCAA? To reward certain LSU players for winning a title? Whatever the reason, he put them and the school in an awkward posit…

data-mm-id=”_qg4hhyd58″>Tom Brady appeared on Howard Stern this morning and played things close to the vest throughout. It wasn't until about 40 minutes into the interview that Brady showed a more vulnerable side of himself, admitting he and Gisele were having marital issues about two years ago and he had to change in order to make sure their marriage remained strong. Discussing his decision to not take part in OTAs the last few years, Brady said Gisele wanted him to take a bigger role at home. He said she "wasn't satisfied with our marriage" and he "had to check myself." Of course, it's more impactful to hear it from Brady. Here's the audio. Tom Brady on marriage with Giselle, says he stopped going to OTAs the past few years because Giselle want…

data-mm-id=”_14dxk5uls”>When Jemele Hill woke up this morning and checked her mentions on Twitter, I doubt she was prepared for the onslaught unleashed upon her. It's not like she usually faces much backlash on the social media platform, but after chiming in on the chocolate chip cookie vs. brownie debate, she got what was coming to her. It started innocently enough with Hill spouting nonsense about CCCs being better than brownies provided the cookies were straight out of the oven. Chocolate chip cookies right out the oven would demolish brownies for 20 straight tracks https://t.co/GAExPcnuHe— Jemele Hill (@jemelehill) July 28, 2020This might be the coldest hot take ever. Everyone knows the chocolate chips in cookies burn your mouth when they come right out of the oven, so her …

data-mm-id=”_ulq6sy99r”>The Pittsburgh Steelers are 10-0 with a decent chance to finish the season undefeated. They've won those games on the strength of an extremely stingy, turnover-creating defense and a cast of talented YAC producers on offense. Ben Roethlisberger has been good enough after missing all but two games last season with an elbow ailment, and the Steelers are poised for a postseason appearance that could transform into a deep playoff run. There. I have acknowledged they are a good team, because of course they are. But what they do not have is a top-five quarterback. Stephen A. Smith appeared on ESPN to argue the opposite and that, in fact, Big Ben is one of the five best quarterbacks to step on the field so far this year. This is simply not the case. There is no wa…

data-mm-id=”_obafzfyq7″>Now that Aaron Rodgers is officially a New York Jet and is wandering around the facility barefoot (you know who else we associate with 12 who underwent significant career and personality changes in his 30s), it is time for ESPN's Mike Greenberg to start planning his darkness retreat. Because back on March 3, when the future Hall of Fame's status was much more uncertain, the Get Up host vowed to descend into the wilderness for quiet reflection and celebration should his team upgrade from Zach Wilson. The graphics department even made a graphic to display while Ryan Clark explained why he was so surprised to hear such a bold claim. @GetUpESPN @Espngreeny 😂 @Realrclark25 @StacyGSG pic.twitter.com/xEib34I6YU— ASOM (@ASOM233334) March 3, 2023…